10 weeks!

These boys are growing fast. And I'm not ok with it. Well, except lack of sleep. I'm ok with saying goodbye to that. This girl is beyond tired!

So the boys were sleeping 3 hours in a row before getting up for a bottle feed, and then they would go straight back to bed. Well, lately, it has turned into every hour and a half! But no bottle! Oy vey. The fussiness during the middle of the night has caused me to become the biggest bitch around. I am looking forward to the day they start sleeping more! Until then, I will continue living off of coffee!

My chunky monkey's are almost 11 pounds each now. They are getting heavier by the day! They have finally started smiling, but mostly all of the smiles are in the morning. I've tried to catch it on camera, but they get distracted by my camera so yeah, epic fail every time. But my oh my, they are so cute. I look their emerging fat rolls! And I love how they can finally stare at me and try to engage in conversation. Their little noises crack me up!

It amazes me how completely different they are, but I love it. I always thought all babies are the same, but now I know I was completely wrong!

7 weeks!

Eh. I suck. I promised myself I would update this blog a ton when I had the boys, but obviously that hasn't been working out as well as I thought! Well, my two little men are obviously growing pretty fast! Both are over 9 pounds now. I love them so unbelievably much! Thankfully I was blessed with two pretty easy babies *knock on wood*. We've only had 2 nights were I ended up in tears from two overtired babies (not at the same time thank the lord!) but I learned my lesson. As soon as I see a yawn, it's bed time! I'm finding out I have a love/hate relationship with pacifiers. I wish Everett didn't have such an oral fixation! That kid is rooting all of the time! But of course, he gets a pacifier and then loses it after a minute. UGH! 

And I can't believe I'm about to say this, but they slept almost 5 hours straight last night! But guess what? I was awake 2 hours into it waiting for them to start crying any minute like they normally do! BAH! I'm hoping they will do it again, but I think I just got lucky. But hey, if they want to keep it up, that is fine with me! 

Little Everett. He is still my wild child! 

Andrew.. Oh he is so sweet and cuddly!

Life Update

I'm having one of those evenings where I just flat out miss my husband terribly. We have been living apart for a total of 4 months now. :(

I just miss everything about him. His touch, his smile, the amazing affect he has to instantly make me the happiest woman on the planet just by being in my presence. I just miss it all. And it's hard. I always try to be this strong wife who can deal with the pain of her husband being away, but underneath it all, I am a complete mess.

The hardest thing is that my husband distances himself from me during deployments, and we have been having a tough time communicating lately. It's crazy how well we get along when were physically together but when were apart, it's almost impossible to even carry on a 5 minute conversation. You would think after all of the deployments we have been through, we would have figured out a system by now, but nope. It never gets easier. If anything, the older I get, the more I need him in my life and the harder military life becomes.

Now that we have 2 children, I just feel like I can't do this lifestyle anymore. I stare at my boys every day just thinking about how awful it must be for him to not be here for any of it. Instead he gets to look at them in pictures, and if were lucky, a 5 minute skype session a few times a week. I don't even know how I would be able to make it through the day knowing that I was thousand's of miles apart from my family and missing out on so much.

But at the same time, I am SO thankful to have a husband that is so selfless, that he would do this kind of job to support his family. He talks all of the time about how happy he is that we can save some money for the boy's college fund and plan all of these fun vacations. I see how he gives up his life to support his family and it warms my heart to know that he puts us first. He really does do all of this for us, and I couldn't be more proud to say that I have a husband with a heart of gold.

Okay, enough mushy husband talk. I've already listened to the song "Broken" by Seether a million times today, as my husband says he listens to that song all of the time as it reminds him of us. It brings tears to my eyes within the 30 seconds! Maybe I just need to take a nice bath, drink a beer, and call it a night! BUT.. not without an update:

Both boys are now over 8 pounds! They are quickly gaining fat rolls and have almost grown out of their newborn clothes. Andrew loves pacifiers/swings/stroking his hair/bath time but cries when he gets his diaper changed. Overall, he's a pretty easy going fella! Everett loves his Rock N Play Sleeper/bath time/SWADDLING! and hates pacifiers and swings. He is also a pretty easy going fella, but he still grunts like crazy! We are finally mastering the night time routine. Both boys get a bath, lotioned with massage, bottle, swaddled, and then they both sleep together in the Nap Nanny (highly recommend.. My boys immediately fall asleep once their heads hit it!). They sleep from about 7:00-11:00, feed, 11:30-2:30, feed, 3:00-6:00, feed, 6:00-9:00. feed. I know sooner or later they will be able to go longer than that, but I am just SOOO happy they both sleep between the feeds! So I still get some good chunks of sleep in the meantime. Hey, I will take whatever I can get!

5 weeks old!

Ahhh! My boys turn 5 weeks old today! It's weird because I have known these little nuggets forever. It's amazing how they enter your life and it just feels "right". I really don't know how to explain it!

Everett

Andrew

Life with twins is amazing. I have a lot of people saying comments like "I don't envy you!" But you know what? They should. Twins is the biggest BLESSING! Are they more work? Don't ask me, I don't know any different! One baby eats, the other one eats. One sleeps, the other one sleeps. Yes, we have had moments where one cries, falls asleep, and then the other one cries.. But I just look at that as our one on one bonding time. :) I find it so special to watch these two have their own little unique bond!  If they are fussy, I stick them in a boppy together and like magic, they immediately calm down. It's amazing the calming affect they have on each other!

*Almost 3 weeks old!*

Wow. I definitely understand why people say time flies when you have a baby(ies). It makes me so happy yet so sad to see them growing bigger and bigger everyday!

So, the boys graduated from the hospital nursery and were able to come home with me last Tuesday! So tomorrow will mark our very first week at home together. And let me say, it has been FANTASTIC! So much better than I ever imagined. People have a tendency to scare you when they find out you're expecting twins by telling you how hard it's going to be. Is it hard? Sure it is! You have two little lives to support! But is it worth it? Absolutely! Let me just say, I have never really been a big fan of newborns. They scare the crap out of me. But when it's your own child, it is COMPLETELY different. I can't stop kissing them. I can't stop staring at them. I love changing dirty diapers. I don't even mind it when they cry! I am just in awe at every little thing at this point. They are my world and the hard work is so enjoyable to me.

The boys definitely have their own personalities at this point. Andrew, my sweet sweet Andrew, is the quietest baby. He hardly cries unless he is naked, but any other time he is just the most mellow kid. His brother Everett on the other hand is completely opposite. He always, ALWAYS grunts, which makes everyone laugh. But he has definitely learned his voice. He cries a few times a day and it's mostly because the kid acts like he's been starved to death. Boy, does that kid love to eat! Which reminds me to add that they are both 2 ounces shy of being 6 pounds! They have both gained an entire pound in the 6 days they have been home. I'm pretty sure they will become chunky monkey's in no time!

skyping with daddy! 

Asleep in their crib 

Meatball LOVES his babies! He sits right next to them all day. 

Everett fell asleep like this. Haha! 

My boys are here!

What a whirlwind the past 9 days have been!!

I woke up the night of September 28th (the day I turned 34 weeks) feeling awful. I thought to myself that maybe this is when braxton hicks really start picking up because surprisingly, I haven't had many of them during this pregnancy. I woke up my mom at 3:30am after telling her that the BH's were coming in almost every 5 minutes, and that's when my mom was immediately out of bed and started racing to the door!

We arrived at the hospital and I was surprised to hear I was already 100% effaced and 1 and 1/2 cm dilated. Panic mode set in and all I was thinking about was "how in the heck do I get my husband home before he misses all of this!" So thankfully he was able to get his work to work out a deal to where he could come home a week earlier than expected, so he was on the next flight out.

An hour goes by and I was already at 3 cm.. We were all thinking, this is it! The boys were going to be here that day! BUT... that's the furthest we got. My doctor had the weekend off (isn't that how this always works?) and was not contactable so all of a sudden I was under the care of a doctor I knew nothing about. The next thing I know they were trying to stop my labor by giving me the turbutiline shot. Boy, I never in my life want to get that horrible drug again! Talk about feeling like your heart might explode! Well, the hospital decided to keep me admitted until my doctor came back to work on Monday so I sat there for almost 48 hours with contractions but no progression.

Fast forward to Monday, my doctor came in the room and gave me the option of breaking my water or going home to see how things would play out on their own, and that they would give me two rounds of steroid shots to give these boys the best chance possible if they did decide to make their presence a little early. So I went home and fought through what turned out to be 5 days of labor, and let me tell you, it was not fun! My contractions were non-stop around the clock, and it wasn't until Wednesday morning did I call my doctor up and said, "I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!!!!!!!"

So I arrived at the hospital Wednesday morning and I can't even begin to tell you how fast everything went from that point on. My doctor immediately came into my room, told me I was now dilated to a 5, and that they were breaking my water. By noon, the contractions had picked up to a new pain I had never experienced before, and we were on our way! By 2pm, I was already at a 6, so I was lucky enough to only experience a few hours of true hard labor before I received my epidural. Once I got the epidural (which took 2 tries because they missed the first time, talk about the worst pain in my entire life!) I was feeling amazing, and couldn't believe it when my doctor came in by 5:30pm, and said I was ready to rock and roll!

I was wheeled back to the OR with my husband and my mom. My feet were put into the stirrups, and I swear within minutes I was told I could start pushing. 4 pushes later, my beautiful baby Andrew was born at 6:12pm, weighing in at 4 lbs 11 oz. Immediately following him was baby brother Everett, born at 6:16pm weighing in a 4 lbs 8 oz. A total of 7 pushes between the both of them!

Andrew on the left, Everett on the right

Our first and only family picture!

And just like that, my world has been completely changed. Keith and I have never had bigger smiles on our faces! We just love them so incredibly much! And for being born at 34 weeks, they are doing FANTASTIC! The only thing they are struggling with is finding the energy to eat as much as they need to, so they are being tube fed for the last half of their meals (but sometimes they finish it all!) But breastfeeding has been successful which is a HUGE accomplishment for preemie babies. I'm just one proud momma! 

And as of yesterday afternoon, my husband is now officially gone until April. It will be so hard to enjoy these boys without him, but we will make it through!!

Quick Update- From the hospital!

HA! I know I said I was going to update you everyday after my appointment on Wednesday, but guess what? I'm on day #3 of being in the hospital! 

Saturday morning around 3:00am, I woke my mom up after I realized I was having contractions that were coming about every 5 minutes. My back was KILLING me to! So we hopped in the car, drove the 45 minutes to the hospital, and right away they checked me. I was dilated to a 1 and 1/2 and I was 90% effaced. Baby A's head was fully engaged.  Okay, I knew labor was starting, so I called my husband and got him scheduled on the next flight home. 

Fast forward 2 hours, I was soon dilated to a 3 and 100% effaced. OMG! This is is really freaking happening! 

Around 12:30pm, my husband finally made it to the hospital. I hadn't seen him in over 3 months and it was just the happiest day of my life!! Babies and a husband! 

Sadly, I didn't progress at all the rest of the day. The on call doctor decided to give me a shot to stop my contractions because I am only 34 weeks, which screwed up everything my body was naturally trying to do. I was PISSED, as my normal doctor and I had just discussed this at my appointment on Wednesday that my labor will not be stopped from this point on. Yep, the on call doctor wanted to get his precious Saturday night sleep so he didn't give a F$%@ what my doctor and I discussed. UGH, so aggrevating! 

So fast forward to yesterday, I woke up to what I think was my mucus plug coming out (sorry TMI). I told the nurses, but guess what? They decided they are no longer checking me, so every little thing that was happening yesterday didn't even matter to them. The goal was to leave me alone as much as possible until my real doctor arrives. So my progress hasn't been checked since Saturday night, and here I am, 5am in the morning, waiting for my regular doctor to arrive. 

I am miserable (contractions are still constant and so is the back pain that makes me feel like I am splitting in half) but I am OH SO HAPPY! I have had lots of lovin's from my husband and at the end of the day I know he will get to be here to see the boys being born. He leaves town on Sunday so we have 6 days to let this happen!! 

Here We Go!!

I had my weekly appointment today, and guess what??

The doctor could feel Baby A's head! These boys might be making their appearance any day now. Holy smokes. Can you say unprepared??

Dear Babies,
As excited as I am to meet you, PLEASE, please don't make your appearance into this world until daddy can make it home next Wednesday. There is nothing more in this world that I want than for him to be there when you make your grand entrances. No dad should ever miss out on that moment. So please just enjoy my womb for at least another week!
Sincerely,
Your mother

So yes, both boys are head down so we are trying vaginally! This entire pregnancy I have prepared myself for a c-section, so I am just amazed that my doctor said that won't be needed! Say what?!!!!

I will keep you all informed with a small post everyday until go time. Friday I will be 34 weeks, so I'm feeling pretty good that they will be a good size and that they won't have too many issues!

33 weeks 1 day!

Hey guys! Sorry, I am still alive.. My mind has officially checked out as time gets closer to having these boys! Here's a belly shot I took last week. Surprisingly, my belly hasn't grown in inches, instead the boys have gravitated up and are both under my rib cage. Ouch!

My husband FINALLY graduated his school yesterday! No more 120 hour work weeks and today will mark his second day of since April 23rd! And what is my husband doing today? Well, moving us out of our Virginia Beach apartment, of course! We had it all planned out to where he was suppose to come here to KC on Monday to have a week off with me and the babies, but that got cancelled as of 2 days ago. Why you ask? Well, he is deploying in x amount of days so he starts training tomorrow! Ahhhhh!!! He wasn't suppose to deploy until November! But were hoping he can still come home in 2 weeks to at least touch this belly one more time before he leaves. 

Boy, I miss him so much! We've been apart for 2 and 1/2 months and I have to say, it has be rough!! 

In other news, I traded in my Honda Element yesterday for a mini-van! BWAH! I never said I would drive one, but after looking at all of the space inside of it and all of the amazing features, everything else seemed like a downgrade (this girl really wanted a Honda Pilot!). I've never had a new car before so to say I'm thrilled to have my first new car is an understatement! This will be the car that my kids remember growing up in, as I plan on keeping this beauty for at least 10 years (buying a car is like pulling teeth! I hate doing it! Maybe that's why my Element was the only car I've ever had? Well, besides my 99 blue sparkly ford escort my parents gave me for my 16th birthday!) I shall take pictures of it sometime this week as the one in the photo isn't actually mine. I don't pick it up until next weekend. So babies, keep cooking away! Momma needs to pick up her new Odyssey before you guys enter this world! 

31 weeks. Oy Vey!

Wow, I am officially in countdown mode! I sure hope these babies decide to stick around for at least another 5 weeks, but to make it this far is unbelievable!

One thing I have really learned about pregnancy is to NEVER listen to the advice or comments from others unless it's good advice! Even twin momma's have completely different experiences than the next, so don't ever compare yourself! Back when I was about 8 weeks along, I had another twin mom tell me that after 26 weeks, I will be miserable. She told me she couldn't even move off the sofa after week 28 and delivered at 31! So of course, I had her story in the back of my mind the entire pregnancy, just to realize I am already at 31 weeks and I still have enough energy to dance around my house. It's so much easier than I thought it would be! Don't get me wrong, at times (like at night) it can be downright exhausting, but pregnancy goes by so flippin' fast that I know this will all be gone before I know it, so I'm going to enjoy it!

On Wednesday we had our 30 week ultrasound and I have to say, I am completely in shock that I have 2 big babies in there! Baby A measured in at 3 lbs 10 oz and Baby B measure in at 3 lbs 7 oz. A few days above schedule! GO BOYS!! My doctor pretty much said that he couldn't be more thrilled with how everything is going and that he is very confident that I still have awhile to go! Even with both heads down, my cervix hasn't changed at all and is still measuring in above 5cm! He made the joke that he "thinks I could go to February if I wanted to." BAH! There was one little tiny problem that we found but were hoping that it will resolve itself before the boys are born. Baby A apparently looks like he has Hydronephrosis, which is a blockage from his kidney to his bladder. He said 8 out of 10 times it will take care of itself, but if not, it will require a very small surgery to correct it. Fingers crossed that my little trooper won't have to go that far!

I do want to say that this week has been a very hard week on my family. My sister-in-law lost her mother the other day (murder-suicide) and she just happened to stumble upon their bodies after she couldn't get ahold of her mom for days. She decided to leave work early to go check in on her, and when she saw her mom's car in the driveway but there wasn't an answer at the door, she started peaking in through the windows. What she saw was her stepdad dead on the couch with a gun in his hand and her mom laying there in the recliner she always sits in with a blanket over her lap. She was holding on to hope that her mom was asleep when it happened, but after the investigation reports came in, she was very much awake as she still had a glass of wine and a cigarette in her hand. In a way I feel guilty that I had gone and picked up my SIL for a fun girls day out while all of this was happening. If we had only known..

30 weeks!!

AHHHHH!!! 30 WEEKS ALONG!!! (These pictures are from last week) I am up 32 pounds since IVF, and I only have stretch marks on my sides (so far at least!). My energy level in fantastic, my body feels great, and I have to say, this is a lot easier than I thought it would be at this point! I can't wait to see how these next few weeks will play out! :)

I am so overwhelmed with gratitude to have made it this far! I'm hoping my body can make it at least another 4 weeks. I want to meet these babies, but I don't want to meet them any sooner than that! 

Everything is pretty much done at this point. My hospital bag is packed, the crib is done, the clothes are washed and put away, and all of the little things are falling into place. I can't say that I feel "ready" at this point, but I don't know if I will ever get that feeling!! 

Well, Keith was suppose to be coming home to visit this weekend but there has been a big change in plans. He is now stuck in this crazy training course until the end of September, and then he starts deployment training in October.. Yep, he won't be deploying until November now! So, maybe he can make it home for the birth? Eh, who knows. All I know is these babies can't make their grand entrance before my 33rd week because Keith and I are going to have no communication once again! STAY IN THERE BABIES! 

Oh, and an update on the Gestational Diabetes home front: They went ahead and made me do the 3 hour glucose test which was NOT FUN and sure enough, I failed once again. I met with my dietitian, picked up my fancy glucose monitor and I have been living a low carb diet for a week now. As much as I thought I would hate it, I actually don't mind it one bit! I get to eat more than I was before, and I'm really aware about what I put into my body now. It will not only make me healthier, but these boys will be healthy as well! But I will admit, no milk or juice before noon is KILLING ME! I miss my morning cereal. :( 

epic fail. :(

Someone just go ahead and stamp BIG LOSER on my forehead.

My glucose level came back so high this morning that the nurse kind of laughed and said "Wow, I think you broke our record! Did you eat cake and ice cream along with your glucose drink this morning?" And the answer to that is no, in case you were wondering! In fact the last thing I ate and drink was a chicken salad with balsamic dressing with water the night before. So what was my number? 251 TO BE EXACT!

As soon as my doctor came in, he told me that he's not even going to send me to do the 3 hour test, instead I am going straight to the dietitian. WOW. I guess I'm going from IVF shots to checking my blood sugar levels 4 times a day and maybe being put on insulin. Crap! After eating healthy and only gaining 36 pounds, I sure do feel like a major failure!

My belly came measuring in at a whopping 40 weeks already (and I'm 28 weeks)! Wowzers! So far I'm not too uncomfortable. Except for the extreme amount of peeing/the carpal tunnel which is getting worse by the day/and the insomnia. But other than that, I am so beyond grateful to be here. I think infertile's have a much harder time complaining about the little things when it takes years to get pregnant to begin with. You are so grateful for even the hard parts that come along with pregnancy! Here's a crappy snippet of my ever expanding belly.

 

In other sappy news, I haven't talked to Keith in almost 2 weeks, and as hard as it is, I'm surviving. I feel like half my heart has just been ripped from my chest. I know this sounds awful, but I can't wait for his deployment to start up so we can start the official countdown to April..

I think in my last post I had stated that my mom and I are making all of the crib sheets and decorative stuff ourselves, so here's a sneak peak! Just don't look too closely at the detail because we are far from experts. In fact, we have no idea what we are doing! As I type this, my mom is trying to figure out how in the hell she made one of the crib sheets about a foot too long. LOL!

And to leave this post off with my new favorite things EVER, it's a gift from lifeasmrsh for the boys!! How cool are these hats! They are definitely tagging along to our newborn photoshoot, especially since they are due right around Halloween! So flippin' perfect! Thank you so much J!!!!!! 

Feeling like crap. Story of my life!

I'm having one of those days where I really feel like I'm not strong enough for any of this.

I'm going on day 5 of not hearing from Keith as he is in the final 2 weeks of training, and it has slowly been killing me. Distance is hard enough, but no communication is a freakin' killer! I just want to hear the words that he is ok damnit. I've got about 10 more days to go before I will hear from him again and I pray to god nothing happens between here and then.

The hardest thing about distance for me is being completely surrounded by couples. Living with my mom and her new husband can almost be nauseating at times (especially since he HAS to open the car door for my mom everywhere we go, as I am the big fat pregnant lady having to open up my own door. Yes, that is the hormonal side of me talking!) I just miss being touched and kissed. I miss feeling like I mean the world to someone. Here in Kansas City I just feel like a nuisance. I'm always just stuck as the third wheel to a couple. Whether it's my sister and her husband, my brother and his wife, my dad and his girlfriend, and my mom and her husband; I'm just the pitiful girl who always tags along. Sitting there trying to eat my dinner while I watch them kiss and cuddle their spouses just makes me feel like the loneliest girl on the planet. When will it ever be my turn to get pampered? I feel like we went straight from IVF to his stupid training course and we have never had the time to even enjoy what should be the most amazing time in both of our lives. I almost feel like I have missed out on something I dreamed about for so long.

I know you are probably thinking I sound like a cry baby, and I completely agree. I know it's my hormones making everything 10x's worse, as this is my 3rd time moving back home with my family, and I never remember having such a tough time. Next week I will be hitting my 3rd trimester, and I just don't feel ready for these babies yet. Not until I can get the rest of my life together. My anxiety levels lately has gone through the roof as I know it's time now to start packing my hospital bags and to get the nursery done. I'm just not prepared for any of this. How can I bring 2 babies into this world when I don't have my own shit together?

Keith will be coming home though in hopefully 3 weeks for a week long vacation so I am hoping that little spurt of time will get me on the right path. His encouragement and help getting everything together should put me in a better place. There is so much to do!

On a lighter note, hopefully I will have a picture up of the homemade bedding my mom and I are making for the cribs by next week! I didn't want anything "baby"ish, so it will be a modern boy kind of look. Maybe this project will keep me occupied for the next 10 days so I'm not so freakin' sad all of the time! :)

27 weeks!

I have gone from a 24 inch waist to a 43 and 1/2 inch waist. YOWZA!

I have been oiling up my belly like no other in order to give my skin a fighting chance against stretch marks. It's definitely not something I stress about, but I would like to give my skin the extra help it needs so I don't get that itchy belly syndrome everyone talks about. So thanks to Mama Mio's skin oil and tummy rub, not only is my stomach crazy soft and not itchy, I haven't seen any stretch marks yet except for on my sides, which I guess I was missing during my nightly tummy rub. But I can deal with that! 

So tomorrow I will be 27 weeks along! We are so close to the final stretch now. *Victory Dance!*

26 weeks!

This pregnancy is finally starting to catch up with me. I am officially getting cankles by the end of the day! Holy swelling batman! And the newest complication is Carpal Tunnel, which is getting worse everyday. It's hard to do anything with my hands! But I will get through this. At the end of that day ,I am just beyond grateful to be here where I am today! Yesterday we had an ultrasound to take a sneak peak at these growing boys and I have to say everything is going so much smoother than I have anticipated over these past few months. I figured I would be having complications by now but so far, so good! Baby A weighed in at 1 pound 12 ounces and Baby B was exactly 2 pounds! They were very active for the ultrasound tech so we had quite a few laughs watching the boys kicking and smacking the crap out of each other! In other good news, my cervix is measuring in at a whopping 4.7 cm long! My doctor said there is no doubt in his mind that I can make it full term, which is music to my ears!

To be on the safe side though, my mom and I went on a hospital tour last night of the nearby hospital that has a level 3 NICU. I can't stress how important that is for a twin momma to have that back up plan! The maternity ward hasn't been updated in a very long time so the rooms aren't anything fancy, but the babies will be in great hands. IF we do go full term, we will be delivering at the hospital that is pretty much a brand new *spa* that has queen size beds in their room so the husband and wives can sleep together through the night, which would be fantastic! (If Keith even makes it here!)

Speaking of Keith, I miss him so incredibly much. I can't say my family has been great at keeping my spirits up because they tend to forget what the hell I am even going through. My sister called me crying yesterday complaining that she hasn't been able to spend time with her husband in 4 days! Really? I've had one day off with Keith since April 22nd, why would I ever give you sympathy! BUT, in exciting news, were thinking he may be able to come visit a month from tomorrow! At least that's our plan.. Now hopefully the Navy will work with us and let that happen! I need to see him!

Baby Shower Photos!

Woah. Did this girl just have a baby shower? How did we get here?! Crazy! We had about 35 of my family members come and it was amazing! These boys are definitely going to be spoiled rotten. Here is just a few pics of our special day. 

1300 miles away from home..

I am officially back in Kansas City with my family.

And I am terribly homesick.

I miss Keith and we've only been apart for 5 days. Hell, I've barely even seen him since April thanks to his 110 hour work weeks, but the fact that we are now over a thousand miles apart rips my heart into a million pieces. Please tell me I can get through this, because right now I am not strong. I just want my husband by my side and I have a little over 9 months to go before I have him again.

I'm sorry this post is so short, but I promise to update in a few days as I have my 24 week appointment with my new OBGYN on Monday. I'm hoping I get to see a glimpse of these big boys who keep jabbing my bladder and bowels! But boy oh boy do I love those movements.

And to leave this post on a somewhat funny note, I decided to try on the same outfit I wore during my week 9 belly shot. Let's just say it wasn't pretty! LOL! I'm turning into a big fat swollen pregnant lady (look at those sausage fingers!!) who had no energy to fix my hair today. So don't judge, we all have our "off" days. :)

22 weeks 1 day!

Our 8 year wedding anniversary is on Monday! How awesome is that? I am just so darn lucky! Here's a breakdown of our years so far:

2004: Graduated high school: Married: CANCUN!  Keith left for bootcamp: I left my job as Childcare Director at the YMCA:  Watched him graduate bootcamp in Chicago: He left to Florida for school: Hospitalized for Pelvic Inflammatory Disease caused by the flu virus. 

2005: Moved to Everett, Washington: Got a job working at Horse Camp for the YMCA!: Keith started working on the USS Lincoln: I left the YMCA and started working at Best Buy: Road trip to San Francisco!

2006: First 6 month deployment!: Temporarily moved back to Kansas City: Got a job at a Fitness Center: Reunion with Keith in Hawaii!: Parents divorced: Moved back to WA: Got a job as a nanny in West Seattle. Adopted Mr. Meatball! 

2007: Keith left the USS Lincoln: He cross-rated jobs and was sent off to school! I moved back to Kansas City and got a job once again at a Fitness Center! Lived with my mom, my sister, her boyfriend, and their newborn baby in a 2 bedroom, 800 sq. ft house: Keith and I went to NYC! 

2008: Keith and I move to Paradise! AKA Clearwater, Florida!: Started shore duty: Life was finally normal for awhile!: Spent almost every weekend at Clearwater Beach. 

2009: Keith deployed for 4 months: I went on a carnival cruise with Keith's brother's girlfriend: My mom gets re-married: Keith and I backpacked Europe for 3 weeks!: Thanksgiving Road trip to Key West with friends: Starting trying for a baby! 

2010: Started seeing a Fertility Specialist: Keith and I take a road trip to visit family in KC: My sister gets married!: My sister gets pregnant 3 weeks after the wedding. Go figure!: Tons of camping trips with our friends. Disney World! I started taking college classes once again! 

2011: 3 failed IUI'S: Laparoscopic Surgery shows adhesions in the pelvic area: Spent more time in Orlando to enjoy all the theme parks before we move! We moved to Virginia Beach, Virginia: Took a break from baby making! Took a road trip to Boston and NYC: 

2012: Decided to try IVF through the military program in Washington D.C.: After living in D.C. for 3 weeks, we became pregnant!: We find out were having twins!: Keith starts training which only lets him come home for 6 hours at night for sleep.: I'm moving back to Kansas City to give birth! Keith deploys! 

WOWZA! My life is definitely not a boring one. LOL! But even with all of the craziness, it just somehow works. Maybe it's because we are both the type of personality's who don't like to sit still. But I do look forward to the day that doesn't involve all of the moving! 

And with all of that, I will leave you with my newest belly shot. 

18 weeks, 20 weeks, 22 weeks! 

21 weeks 3 days

I am so sorry for my lack of updates lately. I suck.

Life is starting to become a tad bit hard as we are now counting down the days until my mom arrives here and takes me back to Kansas City. 10 months without my husband during what should be the most exciting time in our lives. I'm not going to sit here and say I'm being strong, because honestly there have been a lot of tears shed in this household lately. I'm just not ready for time apart. We worked SO hard to get here where we are today that it just breaks my heart that he will miss out on all of it.

I give HUGE kuddos to the women who have "been there, done that". The amount of strength it takes to do this without their spouse is something I never really thought long and hard about until now. I'm trying to stay focused on the fact I will have these beautiful boys to help me pass the time, but I just can't help but think about what HE is missing out on. I know he is always going to be one of those dad's who says he regrets taking a job that keeps him away from his children, and that breaks my heart.

Yesterday as I sat there crying in the food court during his lunch break as he told me he has to work until 10pm this weekend instead of 6pm (which we were suppose to go out for our anniversary and our last weekend alone together), I could tell that this was finally starting to hit him that this is all happening. After the 4th, we pretty much won't see each other anymore. 5:30am-10pm workdays every day until I leave. Not to forget, he doesn't even get the time to make a phone call during those hours. *sigh*

As far as pregnancy updates go: well, I grow a little bit more every day. The boys are moving around like crazy now and they both weight almost a pound each!  I have gained about 25 pounds now, which is right around where I should be with twins, so I'm feeling great. No stretch marks yet, but I will say I have been applying oil at least 3 times a day and drinking TONS of water. I know that won't keep me from getting them, but at the end of the day I know I am doing all I can!

My baby shower is coming up very quickly, July 28th to be exact! We are doing a vintage carnival theme! This is the exact baby shower invitation we used which I absolutely adore. My sister paid $20 for the company on Etsy to prepare the invitations, and then she took the finished product to Kinko's and had them printed for about $15. They look so professional, it's crazy! And it saved her all of the hard work of doing it herself, so that's awesome. So far over 50 invites have been handed out, yikes! We had to rent out a clubhouse for the fear of too many people showing up!! 

20 weeks!

Whew! I cannot believe we are already at 20 weeks! It's scary to think that in a few short months, these baby boys will be in my arms. CRAZY!

So today we had to the 20 week genetic ultrasound and everything checked out perfect. I was so scared  that something would go wrong, that I was shaking before the ultrasound began. I guess it's because I'm just not use to having good news so sometimes it's kind of hard to swallow when I hear that things are going well. Baby A is 11 oz and baby B is 12 oz, measuring right on track! When the technician left the room, I gave a big thank you to god for giving me these 2 beautiful blessings!

Pregnancy is going very well. I felt my very first kick while I had my hand on my stomach and it was AMAZING! Best moment of all of this so far. Keith and I sat on the couch for a good 20 minutes trying to feel one of the babies kicking again, but no such luck. Hopefully it will happen more often now! 

18 weeks 3 days!

Okay, so pregnancy is starting to get a wee bit uncomfortable I must admit. The next few months should be very interesting! My stomach is now 6 inches bigger than my post IVF belly, and it pretty much grows anywhere from 1/4 inch-1/2 inch a week! BAHH! I'm going to be a giant whale at the end of this! BUT, I am so so SO thankful I am going to be the momma of 2 boys. I love thinking about having a house full of boys! That way I can still be the queen bee of the house, haha!

So Keith and I haven't had a day off together in almost 2 months! His training schedule is no joke. 120+hours a week! I told him the other day that once he goes back to a normal shift next spring after his deployment, he's not going to know what to do with himself. But can I just say I daydream every day about what life is going to be like at this time next year. I will have the love of my life back, he will have his 6 month old boys to love on, and we will have time off together! Lots of family vacations are in the making! Camping, maybe going to NYC for a few days, beach days, ahhh!! I'm so excited to start our own family traditions.

But the reality is, I move back to Kansas City in one month. One month away from saying goodbye to my husband. I already know I am going to be one big emotional wreck as it's going to be the hardest goodbye we have dealt with to this day, but I can do this. I have no other choice but to be strong for these boys!

Gender's REVEAL!!!

So, today was the day.

The day we got to find out what we are having.

2 girls? 2 boys? 1 girl 1 boy?

We couldn't make up our minds! Everyone in our family's, including us, thought we were having girls.

Guess what?

Everyone was WRONG!

.....


......
........


...........
..............


..................
.....................


........................
............................


..................................
.....................................


....................................................   2 BOYS!!!!!!!! ...............................................................


If you are friends with me on facebook, please do not say ANYTHING! We are waiting until tonight when Keith can make it home before we tell family. So shhhhhh!!!! 

My Birth Plan

My doctor here in Virginia Beach asked me the other day if I have started a birth plan yet. If I hadn't, he wanted me to start one.

Ughhh... What the hell is a birth plan? I even asked the women in my family who have had babies this question, and they laughed at me. A BIRTH PLAN??

Don't I just show up, and do whatever needs to be done to get the babies out safely? LOL!

Honestly, I don't even want to even think about the whole labor process. My doctor who will be delivering these babies is pretty close with my family (not only did my mom work for him, but he delivered me!) and I trust his judgement 100%. We discussed if both babies are head down, we can try for  a vaginal birth, and if that fails, head to a C-section.. Sounds great! Oh, and lots of drugs.. There is no way in hell I want to do this medication free!

Honestly, I do not want to offend anyone on their birth plans, but that stuff just isn't for me. If I have this huge plan set out on how I want it to go, chances are I will just be disappointed. I'm just a *go with the flow* kind of gal and it makes me feel more relaxed about that day NOT having a plan. Sounds totally dumb, I know.. But to each their own!

16 weeks today!

Wow, time is flying by!! Today I was able to see the babies at my doctor's appointment and I was blown away at how big they are now! They are so adorable! I have some pictures, but they are awful quality. Eh, what the heck, I shall post them anyway.

Laying sideways, facing down towards my bladder. 

Laying sideways, facing down as well. 

Random Meatball Photo.. Too hilarious not to share. 

15 week 3 day belly

I am soo in love with these little monsters already, it's unreal!! I have spent years trying to picture what this moment would be like and even though it's not as fun as I pictured it to be, I am starting to love being pregnant. I'm a little scared to go through all of this without my husband, but I just can't live being sad anymore. God has me exactly where I am suppose to be in my life, and I need to trust him. I can do this. I can prove to myself that I am stronger than I think I am. I mean, come on, I've already battled infertility and survived a horrific IVF, I CAN DO THIS!

I recently found out that 2 of my closest girlfriends are struggling to get pregnant. Now that I am on the other side, I need to use my knowledge and lend them my support, because I get it. I remember how hard it was to see pregnant bellies and to see ultrasound photos. I never want to be that girl who upsets another girl struggling to get pregnant, I just want to be a positive outcome; to give them hope. I will never EVER forget my infertility journey and the friends I have made along the way. If there is anything I thank god for more in my life, it's the gift of infertility. It tested my faith, my relationships, and most importantly myself. I feel like I know who I am now better than I ever have before. I realized my husband will stick by my side even during the hard times, and that kids are truly a blessing. I will never take my family for granted, and I am so thankful for that.