Been awhile.. I'm still alive!

So... I fail at blogging. It's official!!!

There are so many things that I need to get off of my chest, because I feel it building up inside of me and that I'm about to explode.

I'm still sitting here wondering why were not pregnant. It's been one whole year of disappointment, and I have to admit, this has sent me into a very dark place into my life. My one and only best friend here in Florida is having her baby in 3 weeks, and seeing her today made me realize I have major problems. My jealousy has taken over my life. It's something I never thought I ever thought I was capable of, but it has happened. All I want in life is to be a mom. I've stared into my husband's eyes for over 9 years now, daydreaming about having a child with him and how exciting having a little jr. would be. I'm now in the stage of feeling like it will never happen for us. Maybe were just one of those really unfortunate couples who will never get to enjoy that aspect of life.  I honestly cry every time I see a new pregnancy announcement on Facebook. What is wrong with me? I should be grateful that I have an amazing life and family, but honestly, I have a huge hole in my heart.

I don't know where we will be at a year from now, but I'm hoping we will get there. I try to stay positive, but I have my moments. To whoever shall read this, I'm sorry! LOL! Sometimes it just feels good to get it out in the open, even if it is complete strangers.