You buck tooth, mouth rind, firefly from Hell!!

Last night I went to dinner with a few of the RESOLVE girls.. It was one of the best nights thus far! We met up at the Olive Garden, ordered a bottle of wine, and just had a wonderful night of catching up and laughing until wine came out of our nose. Well, not really, but we were laughing pretty hard! It's amazing how infertility can give a group of women such a unique bond. You end up relating to each other in all aspects in life. Love, sex, vacations, money, dogs, etc..  It's just easy to be around them, and I'm so happy I have found that. Support is the number one most important thing while going through this journey. And that's a fact Jack! (I know I know. I've said that a million times)

This weekend we are attending a beer festival, carving pumpkins, watching Hocus Pocus, and just spending some quality time at home. Then on Wednesday, we are headed off the Northeast for vacation!! Boston for 3 days, NYC for 3 days, and then NJ to visit a friend for a day. Were spending Halloween in Greenwich village which should be quite the experience! Oh lord, I am so excited to be stuffing myself with great food and just relaxing in the cool weather with Keith!!

one pissed off chica

I could punch something right now.. $^#%!!!!!!!!!!

So I was on my way to my appointment this morning when I got the lovely phone call from my clinic to tell me that they have cancelled my appt. Yes, they called me when I was already sitting in traffic.

Their reason for canceling my appointment was, all of the doctors/surgeons are out of town for a MONTH doing training, and that the lady they had me scheduled to see today is only a nurse practitioner. So, the soonest I can get in to see a doctor to go over my results is November 9!!! That will be pretty much exactly one month after my HSG. I asked the lady on the phone if there was any way I could still come in and she could at least show me the x-rays so I have a better understanding of what's going on, but of course I got shot down almost immediately. She said "you have to wait to see one of the surgeons so they can go over with you what to do next about your pelvic mass." Alright missy! What the hell do you mean by pelvic mass for starters?? She said that 3 freakin times!!! And wait, are they still expecting to do another surgery??

So my appointment today was a fail. They won't put me on the waiting list for the January IVF cycle until I speak to a surgeon, so the chances of us making it are slim to none. Were probably going to have to wait until spring time now, which sucks big time!!!!

My first Video!

I was very bored this afternoon, so I decided to make my first video! Since it's my first, I'm just re-capping our journey so far.. Please don't make fun on of me. haha!

Truckin' along.

GAH! I just realized I haven't updated in almost a week. I think my last post was the one where I was *bitching* about not having any friends, so I took that into my own hands and organized a lunch date with some fellow navy wives I met through facebook. Well, I thought that would be a great way to meet girls, which in hindsight it was.. But, I had nothing in common with any of them (only 3 showed up). To explain it nicely, it sucked monkey ba**s. LOL! I don't really get along with very opinionated women, which is exactly what I ran into. I'm way too laid back to get into an arguments over silly things, for example, why women should have NO medical intervention during labor including using a hospital or pain medication (yes, that was the last 45 min of conversation. I will gladly enjoy my hospital room thank you very much!). But after that crappy lunch I came home to find my husband cleaning the house.. Let's just say I was pleasantly surprised since that never happens! And of course, there was a reason behind it. Our friends from Florida called to tell us they were in town and were on their way over! So the night ended on a good note. A nice seafood dinner and several hours of talking later, my spirits were lifted.  ;)

Tomorrow is my follow up appointment from the HSG I had a few weeks ago. I'm not really sure how this appointment is going to go, but I'm soo ready to get this IVF stuff rollin'! It's time to kick it up a notch' as Emeril would say. I want to leave this post with a picture of my feather extension I added to my hair yesterday.. I think I might add a couple more. They are just too darn cute!! (don't mind my, *just woke up from a nap*, hair)

Being an adult sucks sometimes..

Sometimes being a military wife is just plain hard.. Don't get me wrong, I love the lifestyle. The constant moving is perfect for me, as I tend to get bored pretty easily.. But with the constant moving, brings the constant feeling of loneliness. It's so hard for me to make friends the older I get!  I've always been a girl's girl (although for the past few years I've been hanging out with 90% dudes!) and sometimes I just miss having that close girlfriend bond. I know I've only been in Virginia for 4 months and it's pretty great I have already met a great group of girls, but I have yet to create that close girlfriend bond with someone. The one to go shopping with, have lunch dates with, tell deep dark secrets to (well not that I have any. But If I did!).  Growing up in the same house all of my life gave me the steadiness of always being surrounded by great friends. I was always hanging out with someone whether it was my cousins who lived next door or my neighbors down the street. Now in my adult life, I find myself hanging out with my dog, and that's it! How pathetic! Every time I watch an episode of The King of Queens, it's like looking in a mirror. Carrie and Doug are always on the search for friends and other couple's to hang out with.. Well, that is Keith and I to a tee. I guess as a kid they don't explain to you that making friends would be the hardest part of being an adult!

On the infertility home front, I had *that* dream the other night. You know, *that* dream where you experience your first positive pregnancy test. I remember feeling like my heart had stopped, and this overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement came over my body. It was amazing.. Then of course, my husband woke me up and started telling me about his zombie dreams. I was back in reality!! Oh god, the day that positive test appears in my hands will be the most glorious day in my entire life. And if god doesn't have that in the books for us, the day our adopted baby is in our hands will be just glorious.. One day our dream will become a reality, one day!!

Keeping myself distracted :)

Household projects.

#1- Make a new headboard.. We worked on this baby over the weekend! It's almost finished, minus the gloss which were applying tomorrow. So here's what a completely done version looks like: Ours looks exactly the same!!

#2- Make nightstands. We haven't started this project yet, but hopefully next weekend we will have the time to start on these pretty things!! 

#3- Computer Desk. I really wanted to add a nice pop of color to the bedroom, so I decided on teal. I mean, everything goes with teal! So here's what I found:

Cool huh? Keith use to take wood's class back in high school, and was obsessed with making furniture for everyone.. I don't know why I didn't think of asking him to build some furniture for our spare bedroom all of these years, but I'm so glad I did! Not only was he super excited, it was a great project to do together.. Not to forget we saved a lot of mula making it ourselves! (compare our headboard to Pottery Barn's $799 Mason Headboard! ) 

I love doing anything that involves bonding with my husband. We have just been through a lot lately, and anytime we can get to sit around, drink beer together is a great stress relief! I will post pictures of the bedroom once it is finished. :)

HSG test #3

HSG Results:

My tubes are open, BUT, my right tube (the one they believed I had an ectopic in) is completely haywire.. The doctor said it looks like it's pinned down in a weird position by nothing other than: adhesions.. He didn't say much else, so I have no idea where this leaves us.. Gotta love it when the doctors make you wait until your follow up appointment to explain anything, which gives me another 2 weeks to be confused! *lovely*

Horrible news...

When I went in for my day 3 cysts check on Wednesday to get our 4th IUI process started, my doctor spotted something unusual in my tube on the ultrasound. When I asked her if it was my right one, she said 'as a matter of fact, yes!" I explained to her that right before our move to Virginia, my RE in Tampa had spotted the same thing. He told me it was probably an ectopic and sent me on my merry little way with some strong antibiotics. So imagine my horror when here I am, 4 months later, and there it was again. My doctor called in another doctor for a second pair of eyes, and they both agreed that it looks like an ectopic. 

She sent me down the the lab and after 8 tubes of blood drawn, much to her and my surprise, all of my blood work all came back normal. She told me to come back in Friday morning and we could discuss *our options.*  When I showed up Friday to my appointment, I was already fighting back the tears after being stuck in a waiting room with 37 PREGNANT BELLIES staring at me in the face (worst experience of our entire 2 year TTC process). When I finally got back to the room, I was surprised to hear they wanted to perform another ultrasound. This time a new RE entered the room alongside my regular RE and told me in the sweetest way possible "I'm so sorry, but what were seeing in this ultrasound is not good. It looks like you had an ectopic but your body is not passing it out on it's own. We need you to come back in next week for another HSG test, and depending what the test results are, we might be need to perform another laparoscopic surgery and remove your tube." The amount of fluid around it is really concerning them I guess, so things are going to have to move pretty quickly.. 

 I'm going in for my 3rd HSG test on Thursday. Dear god let us get some good news!!