30 weeks!!

AHHHHH!!! 30 WEEKS ALONG!!! (These pictures are from last week) I am up 32 pounds since IVF, and I only have stretch marks on my sides (so far at least!). My energy level in fantastic, my body feels great, and I have to say, this is a lot easier than I thought it would be at this point! I can't wait to see how these next few weeks will play out! :)

I am so overwhelmed with gratitude to have made it this far! I'm hoping my body can make it at least another 4 weeks. I want to meet these babies, but I don't want to meet them any sooner than that! 

Everything is pretty much done at this point. My hospital bag is packed, the crib is done, the clothes are washed and put away, and all of the little things are falling into place. I can't say that I feel "ready" at this point, but I don't know if I will ever get that feeling!! 

Well, Keith was suppose to be coming home to visit this weekend but there has been a big change in plans. He is now stuck in this crazy training course until the end of September, and then he starts deployment training in October.. Yep, he won't be deploying until November now! So, maybe he can make it home for the birth? Eh, who knows. All I know is these babies can't make their grand entrance before my 33rd week because Keith and I are going to have no communication once again! STAY IN THERE BABIES! 

Oh, and an update on the Gestational Diabetes home front: They went ahead and made me do the 3 hour glucose test which was NOT FUN and sure enough, I failed once again. I met with my dietitian, picked up my fancy glucose monitor and I have been living a low carb diet for a week now. As much as I thought I would hate it, I actually don't mind it one bit! I get to eat more than I was before, and I'm really aware about what I put into my body now. It will not only make me healthier, but these boys will be healthy as well! But I will admit, no milk or juice before noon is KILLING ME! I miss my morning cereal. :( 

epic fail. :(

Someone just go ahead and stamp BIG LOSER on my forehead.

My glucose level came back so high this morning that the nurse kind of laughed and said "Wow, I think you broke our record! Did you eat cake and ice cream along with your glucose drink this morning?" And the answer to that is no, in case you were wondering! In fact the last thing I ate and drink was a chicken salad with balsamic dressing with water the night before. So what was my number? 251 TO BE EXACT!

As soon as my doctor came in, he told me that he's not even going to send me to do the 3 hour test, instead I am going straight to the dietitian. WOW. I guess I'm going from IVF shots to checking my blood sugar levels 4 times a day and maybe being put on insulin. Crap! After eating healthy and only gaining 36 pounds, I sure do feel like a major failure!

My belly came measuring in at a whopping 40 weeks already (and I'm 28 weeks)! Wowzers! So far I'm not too uncomfortable. Except for the extreme amount of peeing/the carpal tunnel which is getting worse by the day/and the insomnia. But other than that, I am so beyond grateful to be here. I think infertile's have a much harder time complaining about the little things when it takes years to get pregnant to begin with. You are so grateful for even the hard parts that come along with pregnancy! Here's a crappy snippet of my ever expanding belly.

 

In other sappy news, I haven't talked to Keith in almost 2 weeks, and as hard as it is, I'm surviving. I feel like half my heart has just been ripped from my chest. I know this sounds awful, but I can't wait for his deployment to start up so we can start the official countdown to April..

I think in my last post I had stated that my mom and I are making all of the crib sheets and decorative stuff ourselves, so here's a sneak peak! Just don't look too closely at the detail because we are far from experts. In fact, we have no idea what we are doing! As I type this, my mom is trying to figure out how in the hell she made one of the crib sheets about a foot too long. LOL!

And to leave this post off with my new favorite things EVER, it's a gift from lifeasmrsh for the boys!! How cool are these hats! They are definitely tagging along to our newborn photoshoot, especially since they are due right around Halloween! So flippin' perfect! Thank you so much J!!!!!! 

Feeling like crap. Story of my life!

I'm having one of those days where I really feel like I'm not strong enough for any of this.

I'm going on day 5 of not hearing from Keith as he is in the final 2 weeks of training, and it has slowly been killing me. Distance is hard enough, but no communication is a freakin' killer! I just want to hear the words that he is ok damnit. I've got about 10 more days to go before I will hear from him again and I pray to god nothing happens between here and then.

The hardest thing about distance for me is being completely surrounded by couples. Living with my mom and her new husband can almost be nauseating at times (especially since he HAS to open the car door for my mom everywhere we go, as I am the big fat pregnant lady having to open up my own door. Yes, that is the hormonal side of me talking!) I just miss being touched and kissed. I miss feeling like I mean the world to someone. Here in Kansas City I just feel like a nuisance. I'm always just stuck as the third wheel to a couple. Whether it's my sister and her husband, my brother and his wife, my dad and his girlfriend, and my mom and her husband; I'm just the pitiful girl who always tags along. Sitting there trying to eat my dinner while I watch them kiss and cuddle their spouses just makes me feel like the loneliest girl on the planet. When will it ever be my turn to get pampered? I feel like we went straight from IVF to his stupid training course and we have never had the time to even enjoy what should be the most amazing time in both of our lives. I almost feel like I have missed out on something I dreamed about for so long.

I know you are probably thinking I sound like a cry baby, and I completely agree. I know it's my hormones making everything 10x's worse, as this is my 3rd time moving back home with my family, and I never remember having such a tough time. Next week I will be hitting my 3rd trimester, and I just don't feel ready for these babies yet. Not until I can get the rest of my life together. My anxiety levels lately has gone through the roof as I know it's time now to start packing my hospital bags and to get the nursery done. I'm just not prepared for any of this. How can I bring 2 babies into this world when I don't have my own shit together?

Keith will be coming home though in hopefully 3 weeks for a week long vacation so I am hoping that little spurt of time will get me on the right path. His encouragement and help getting everything together should put me in a better place. There is so much to do!

On a lighter note, hopefully I will have a picture up of the homemade bedding my mom and I are making for the cribs by next week! I didn't want anything "baby"ish, so it will be a modern boy kind of look. Maybe this project will keep me occupied for the next 10 days so I'm not so freakin' sad all of the time! :)

27 weeks!

I have gone from a 24 inch waist to a 43 and 1/2 inch waist. YOWZA!

I have been oiling up my belly like no other in order to give my skin a fighting chance against stretch marks. It's definitely not something I stress about, but I would like to give my skin the extra help it needs so I don't get that itchy belly syndrome everyone talks about. So thanks to Mama Mio's skin oil and tummy rub, not only is my stomach crazy soft and not itchy, I haven't seen any stretch marks yet except for on my sides, which I guess I was missing during my nightly tummy rub. But I can deal with that! 

So tomorrow I will be 27 weeks along! We are so close to the final stretch now. *Victory Dance!*

26 weeks!

This pregnancy is finally starting to catch up with me. I am officially getting cankles by the end of the day! Holy swelling batman! And the newest complication is Carpal Tunnel, which is getting worse everyday. It's hard to do anything with my hands! But I will get through this. At the end of that day ,I am just beyond grateful to be here where I am today! Yesterday we had an ultrasound to take a sneak peak at these growing boys and I have to say everything is going so much smoother than I have anticipated over these past few months. I figured I would be having complications by now but so far, so good! Baby A weighed in at 1 pound 12 ounces and Baby B was exactly 2 pounds! They were very active for the ultrasound tech so we had quite a few laughs watching the boys kicking and smacking the crap out of each other! In other good news, my cervix is measuring in at a whopping 4.7 cm long! My doctor said there is no doubt in his mind that I can make it full term, which is music to my ears!

To be on the safe side though, my mom and I went on a hospital tour last night of the nearby hospital that has a level 3 NICU. I can't stress how important that is for a twin momma to have that back up plan! The maternity ward hasn't been updated in a very long time so the rooms aren't anything fancy, but the babies will be in great hands. IF we do go full term, we will be delivering at the hospital that is pretty much a brand new *spa* that has queen size beds in their room so the husband and wives can sleep together through the night, which would be fantastic! (If Keith even makes it here!)

Speaking of Keith, I miss him so incredibly much. I can't say my family has been great at keeping my spirits up because they tend to forget what the hell I am even going through. My sister called me crying yesterday complaining that she hasn't been able to spend time with her husband in 4 days! Really? I've had one day off with Keith since April 22nd, why would I ever give you sympathy! BUT, in exciting news, were thinking he may be able to come visit a month from tomorrow! At least that's our plan.. Now hopefully the Navy will work with us and let that happen! I need to see him!