What an awful day :(

So I guess all posts got deleted yesterday? GAH! Why does everything shutdown the day you really need it?!

Yesterday was an awful day for us to say the least! I went in thinking the pre-op appointment for my surgery on Monday would be a piece of cake, but I left there flooded in tears and once again lost all hope in having a baby naturally. My doctor decided to do one last ultrasound to make sure everything is a-ok, and much to my surprise, it wasn't. I have a cyst growing on my left ovary that's bigger than my uterus in size. I was in complete shock!  I haven't had any cysts in years, but the moment we are getting ready for surgery, BAM! Not only do I have one, I have on the size of Memphis!!! My doctor left the decision up to me on whether or not to go forth with the surgery because of the risks, and I started bawling not knowing what to do. I was heartbroken, disappointed, scared, and confused. Especially since I told my husband to stay at work since I figured the appointment would just be lots of lab work and boring paperwork! So I sat there in the room with my doctor and I knew I was going to have to make this decision on my own.  I was mortified! My doctor explained to me that if they mess with the cyst, that I could lose a lot of ovarian tissue which would pretty much make my ovary non usable. He mentioned giving it a few months to see if it goes away, and my heart just sank to the ground. That was my very first time bawling in front of my doctor! I told him my heart was set on the surgery, so that's where we left off. My surgery is at 7:30am Monday morning, and I am a nervous wreck. Girls, I'm actually scared to death. I just can't seem to catch a break. How do I know if I made the right decision?

Tomorrow I start my bowel prep, so tonight we are going out for pizza and ice cream. My last hoorah before the 'crappy' weekend begins!!