2 weeks from tomorrow is our Orientation for IVF. Someone pinch me, shit is happening! I can't believe it.
My mom and stepdad just left this morning after a wonderful 5 day visit, BUT.. Can I just be a selfish little snot for a minute?
So, my mom left me absolutely confused. A few months ago, you may remember me saying my mom decided she was going to pay for our first round of IVF and that she was "more than happy to do so. She would do anything to bring more grandchild into her life." She kept going on and on, pretty much begging us to get IVF done and told us she didn't want us worrying about money on top of the stress from everything else. For months she told us that she was paying for it.
Fast forward to this weekend. My mom pretty much told us, without coming out and exactly saying it, that we are officially on our own. I think her exact words were "Well, at least you guys were responsible enough to save for this whole process!" She kept going on by saying that we will *rebound* from all of this financially. It was as if all of the previous talk had NEVER happened!
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not a spoiled bitch. Keith and I have been married since I was 18, and we still to this day have never taken a dime from my parents. She has however, told each one of us kids that we would receive $10,000 for a down payment on a house, or whatever we please. My brother got his, my sister got hers. So I figured the money my mom was talking about giving us for IVF was going to come from that, but I guess it's not. Were getting nothing.
I will say, I am BEYOND grateful for the money Keith and I have saved over the years. We do have the money to do IVF, but the shock of knowing that every dime of it is now coming from our bank account 2 weeks prior is a bit of a shock for us. I wish she would have never told us she was going to pay for it, talk us into doing IVF asap, and then ditch us! I also found out she gives a $500 donation to her church every month, so in way I feel like it's a slap in the face. Why would she tell me that? I will never let money come in between my family and I, but I'm honestly a little hurt. I feel like she was so desperate for us to get IVF done, she would do anything to get us there, even if it was by lying. Now, if I'm wrong about all of this, please tell me (in a nice way of course!) I just don't know why she would do that. I know she's not having money troubles (hence the fact, why she told me she gives that big of a donation to her church every month!) My mom tells me everything, she has just decided that she's not helping. WTF! I need a glass of wine..
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Ouch :( Are you comfortable with asking her straight out "Hey mom, you know how you helped the other kids out with money? Ummm yeah, can we have some?" hahaha I know that's probably tough, though. It's gotta be hard though to think your getting help and then nope :( How did your procedure go? Maybe I missed that post.
ReplyDeleteHow bizarre. Could you talk to her. After all she did offer, I think it is valid for you to remind her of that even if you are letting her know you guys have it covered at least addressing it so you both know you are on the same page. Otherwise it could sit there as a big untalked about elephant in the room. I t might be good for her to just know that you are having to change plans because she changed her mind, and even though you can swing it you had not planned to. I think it is important she is confronted - in a nice way just to make the point that she shouldn't offer something like that and then not follow through. I know money and family can be tricky to navigate and you know how to handle her best, but I don't think you would sound spoiled to mention her offer even/especially if you are not asking for the money. Enjoy your wine!!
ReplyDeleteAwww sorry to hear about that...it sounds like your mom saw you have the means and figured you didn't need the money...support of any kind is helpful hopefully she gives you emotional support going forward if not financial...it totally sucks when parents say they are going to give you money and they don't...I'm still waiting for my mom to give me money for my wedding...seven months after the fact!
ReplyDeletesorry to hear that..I am having my own ish with my mom. although she did back out of paying the rest of our wedding site fee (which she had said she would cover)..the day before the wedding, that is nothing in comparison to IVF. It's just hard when it comes as a "surprise" sorry!! =0(
ReplyDelete