Today is my follow up appointment. And I'm a mess.
Last time I went there I counted over 42 pregnant bellies in the waiting room and ended up trying my hardest to not let the tears fall from my face (although I was unsuccessful). They came pouring in one right after another, taking every remaining seat in the 2 room lobby and creating a long line out into the hallway as they all came trickling in at once. I felt like I was on *Punk'd* there for a moment! I thought it was one of the most cruel things to put an infertile through, and I don't know if I'm mentally prepared to face that again today. Sadness has overwhelmed me this week as we are sneaking up on my best friends baby's first birthday. I cried my eyes out the day she told me she was pregnant, as we had already been trying for awhile and was unsuccessful and it took her and her husband a whopping 2 weeks. Now their daughter is turning 1. It's sad to think if I would have became pregnant like everyone else, my baby would already be walking and we would probably already be starting on baby #2. Wow.
I'm just having a sad moment for myself today. It feels like I'm just sitting back in the shadows while everyone else's life is moving forward and family's are growing bigger. I'm not saying my husband and I deserve a child more than anyone else, but I do know we have a lot of love to give and a great home to raise some cute little monsters. When will it be our turn? Anyways, I will update later today after our appointment..
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Oh hon I know its hard. We just have to all keep faith and believe that one day we will be the mothers we so desire to be. I hope your appointment goes well today. I hope you fight back those tears and know that your little monsters are in your future. But if you do cry know that its ok because to walk this road we all have our up days and our down days and we're allowed to vent and express them either way.
ReplyDeleteHUUUUUUGE ((HUGS))! I know how awful those damn waiting rooms can be. Some genius here decided to move the RE clinic right next to the ob/gyn department on post. It's okay to have bad days but I'm sorry you're having one. =( Good luck at your appointment!
ReplyDeleteGood luck at your appt! I know how sad things can get, I remember very well!! Hang in there girl. Hugs...
ReplyDeleteI know exactly how you feel. My RE clinic shares a waiting room with OB/GYN and I always feel like crying in the waiting room. My best friend told me that her and her husband were going to start trying shortly after I miscarried baby #2 and she got pregnant about 5 months later. She's due in about a week and a half. While I'm over the moon about having a "niece", I can't help but feel jealous since we've been trying for over 3 and a half years now.
ReplyDeleteI hope your appointment goes well and that everything is clear for IVF!
All I can say is I understand. Been there, done that and felt that. Someday, someday it will be our turn :)
ReplyDeletehope your appointment went well! I too can relate to the sitting in the waiting room and trying to fight back tears but yet sometimes the tears just don't wait. ((HUGS)) to you!!!
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