bloat and babies..

It's official. I can no longer fit into any of my clothes! I went and bought that be-band thing from Target yesterday and that thing has been a lifesaver! I can now where my skinny jeans in comfort again.  I don't know if it's extreme bloat or babies growing at this point, but for 9 weeks, I feel so chubby! I can't even imagine how big I am going to get as the weeks progress. I have noticed my uterus area is starting to bulge a lot and the husband noticed it as well, but it just seems soo early!  

Other than that, the morning sickness is still kicking my ass. At this point it's hard to be excited at all about this pregnancy because I amway too busy worrying about throwing up and constantly feeling like garbage. I hardly even leave the house anymore! I'm just praying for a little bit of relief, as sometimes I feel like I am really going to lose it at any moment. I even went and saw a social worker at the hospital the other day because I am just having an awful time adjusting to this pregnancy. I cry all the time, I don't want to get out of bed, I don't want to be social, and sometimes I think to myself "what the hell did I get myself into." I wasn't sure if it was normal to be feeling this way, so I decided to seek help and I'm going to take full advantage of therapy. So I have another appointment in 3 weeks!  I need help now more than I ever have. That is something I never even thought about on our infertility journey! I know my old self would probably want to slap the person I have become and say get over it!!  But depression is not something we choose.   It's a bitch I tell ya!!