I just need to say it..

Today I received a text message from my ex-boyfriend who I haven't talked to in forever, and every time i hear from him, I start remembering the past and all of the stuff I have gone through in my life.. So bare with me, I think it's time I get this off of my chest..

When I was 13 years old, I was always harassed by this big black guy named Tim in my science class (I don't mean to bring up race, but it's part of the story). He always called me his "bitch", but I was so young and shy, I always just uncomfortably laughed it off. One day our class headed to the star lab, which was basically a giant pitch black dome where everyone would lay down and gaze at the stars that was projected on to the dome itself.. Well, he apparently had his mind set on other things, because the next thing I knew he had his hands all over me... Yes, this may be graphic, but his hands ended up in my pants and I was scared shitless.. I had never been touched before, and I just remember how mortified and disgusted I was..

Later on, I told my best friend at the time about what had happened, and the next thing I knew she took it upon herself to tell school officials. I was called into the principle's office, and then escorted to a police station where I had to give a video taped explanation about what had happened. The school decided it would be in my best interest to stay at home for a few weeks before returning.

Since Tim was close to being 15 at that time, and  I was 13, it was considered statutory rape. He went to juvenile detention, and was expelled from our school district for good. The story ended up on the front page of the Kansas City star, and everyone in my school ended up finding out that I was the "girl" that had the popular basketball player expelled from our school. I lost almost every single friend I had except for a rare few, and I was known as the "racist slut" from that point on until I graduated high school. It ruined my entire life..

My ex-boyfriend, Matt, who was my brothers best friend at the time and was 3 years older than me, was from another school district. He knew what kind of person I was, so he loved me even knowing what I had been through. We dated for almost 2 years before moving on, and just a few months after we broke up, I started dating Keith.

Years into Keith and I's relationship, I found out that the Tim guy in the mean time had been transferred to not only the school district of my ex-boyfriend, but his FREAKING school! Somehow Tim found out that Matt was my ex, and started harassing him, and Matt who is still my friend to this day, told him to stop talking crap about me.. Well, next thing I knew Tim told my ex to meet him out in some random field after school, and the whole school had shown up to witness their fight (which Matt was NOT a fighter, he couldn't hurt a fly).. I guess the fight was pretty brutal and both Tim and my ex got really hurt, but it astonishes me that my ex never told me about this.. I found out from my brother who didn't tell me until years later..

So now every time I hear from Matt, I just get this rush of amazing gratitude I have for sticking up for me. My husband  is also an amazing guy, since we have gone to school together forever, and not once did he judge me. He looked past all of the silly rumors and hurtful things people said about me, and saw the kind of girl I really was. It took a lot of strength for him to date the girl who had a reputation!! So yeah, I've had 2 boyfriends in my life, lost my virginity to my husband, and I'm the girl who will forever be known as the "slut" from the people at my school.  I rarely think about the incident anymore, but it definitely made me grow up faster than the average person. I hope this all made sense. It's been my deep dark secret for over 11 years now! Phew, I feel better!