We had our 2nd iui this morning! I already convinced myself that it didn't work because I was told my uterine lining was measuring in at 5mm, and anything below 8 is not a good sign. *humph* I feel sometimes as if god is just playing this cruel joke on me and that a child is just not going to happen for us (yes, I know that's not how god works! I know he has a plan for me, it may not be what I expected but having faith in him is what keeps me going). I don't know how a person is suppose to stay positive when you deal with disappointment several times a month! I'm terrified at what this journey will do to my marriage, as I know my husband wants a child as bad as I do. I know he would never leave me, but sometimes I feel so guilty that I wish he would just leave me and find someone who can create him a family. Money and sex is what can ruin a relationship the fastest and those are the 2 things infertility messes up the most. Intimacy, what's that? Our intimacy went from having crazy sex and having fun (hehe! *blush*) to him giving me my shots in my stomach and holding my hand as I'm getting his sperm shoved in me by a nurse and then writing that nice $550 check for her to do so!
Anyways, I'm just ready to enjoy my weekend! My husband will be in the color guard for the yankees vs phillies game tomorrow so I'm so excited for a fun afternoon!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
After 3 1/2 yrs my BIL and his wife were finally able to conceive, but I know she felt a lot of the same things you are. I wish I had the words to make this easier. I also have many friends that are traveling your same journey, and I have faith that God will bless you with a beautiful child to complete your beautiful family.
ReplyDeleteI can completely empathize with you ! Sex.. intimacy... what's that? The ironic part is that you are required to pay a lot of money during which time they tell you you CAN'T have sex at any time, while you are TRYING to get pregnant... hmmm.(for the IVF process)
ReplyDeleteI wish there were words I could say to make it easier for you..all I can say is that you are not alone on your journey, I read all your postings and I'm praying and walking with you through it all. I hope you prove the doctors wrong and your body lays out the welcome mat!
P.S. Meatball is adorable.