Parenthood.. sucks.. sometimes..

Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

That does exist, right? Parents eventually do get to sleep at some point during parenthood, right? Anyone? I don't even care if it's not true. Lie to me and tell me it gets better. They do sleep longer than a few hours at a time. I need to hear it. SOMEONE!

So the boys have only slept through the night, twice. And let me tell you, every night when my head hits my pillow, I pray to god that it will happen again. That I will magically wake up and I will realize I just got 6-7 hours of sleep. But nope, within a few hours I am woken up by babbling/crying/screaming. You name it, they do it.

My sweet adorable Everett has learned how to get out of his swaddle. And ladies and gentleman, I take swaddling seriously! Blankets didn't work, so we moved on to Swaddle Me's. When those didn't work, we moved on to the "Miracle Blanket". I am still baffled at how in the heck that kid can bust out of that thing, but he can. And he will. So at 1am this morning, I wake up to the sweetest babbling noises and at that moment, I knew once again he was out of his swaddle. Sure enough, that kid was all over the place enjoying his freedom. I re-swaddled him, he screamed, I fed him, he went back to sleep, and wouldn't you know, I was woken up again at 4:45am this morning to a babbling happy baby. I know what you're thinking, just let him blabble! I wish it ended there. But this sweet babbling eventually wakes up Andrew, which leads to crying.

Don't let this face fool you. Nothing but trouble!! 

So I feel like I am just stuck. I want to sleep train the boys, but I am a softy. I keep repeating to myself, "I don't care. Let them figure it out on their own" but I always cave. I think part of it is because I live with my mom, and I feel awful thinking it's my fault that no one is getting sleep in this house because of my kids. So I am always running in there to get them back to sleep as quickly as possible.

But I am moving out of here in 29 days. I will have my own house again, which means more opportunity to get these boys on track. I hate seeing them so tired in the mornings, and trust me, they don't like dealing with a tired momma!

football time!!! 

Speaking of tired, this deployment is dragging.. Seriously, I. AM. DONE with it.  I need my husband back. I crave being touched and kissed every day. Sometimes I wonder if motherhood is much tougher than I expected because I don't have someone to turn to physically and mentally. Of course I have my mothers help every once in awhile, but there's just that calming factor only a spouse can bring. If I am having a bad moment, his hugs bring me back to earth. His terrible jokes can turn a bad moment into a good one. It sucks missing out on that. But what can you do. All I can do is try to survive, and so far I am. Maybe not gracefully, but I am. 

And on that note, I can hear my little one's waking up from their 30 minute cat nap.. Only 9 hours to go until bedtime!